b4tmatt: Ugh, I hate it when people say “Fuck the police”. Don’t just fuck the police. Take the police out on a couple dates. Take the police to the movies or a nice stroll in the park. Feed the police some delicious fondue. Make the police fall in love with you. Then, fuck the police. And then out of nowhere, stop taking calls from the police. Ignore the police. Make the police miss you....
THINGS THAT DO NOT MAKE A WOMAN A WHORE: Dating the boy you like Having sex because she likes having sex Going on dates with people whom she has no intention of calling again/dating exclusively Wearing clothes that show her cleavage Flirting THINGS THAT DO A WOMAN A WHORE: Soliciting sexual acts for currency, and although that fits the definition of “whore” that’s still a derogatory...
On the twelfth day of Christmas, Jo Rowling gave...
magical-mischief: Twelve Grimmauld Place Eleven years of waiting Ten galleons for Ron Nine and Three Quarters Eight tries to kill Harry Seven Horcruxes Six Weasley boys Five chocolate frogs Four Hogwarts houses Three Deathly Hallows Two radish earrings And a wand that chose me
me: wow everything seems right for once
life: hold on let me fuck it up
Aw i wish i had bigger boobs
teal-orangeandblack: sharkshockeyforlife: I’m not the only one who does this with hot candle wax right? ALL DAH TIME BRO ALL DAH FUCKING TIME
arseus: careful spongebob careful spongebob careful CAREFUL SPONGEBOB SPONGEBOB CAREFUL CAREFULLLLL SPONGEBOBBBB
Since everyone's posting cute couple videos.. →
every episode of pawn stars ever
seller: i have here this rusty clock thing that was touched by the pope in 1700
buyer: okay let me just call in my buddy here who's an expert on rusty things that were touched by the pope in 1700 to have a look at it
Greiss's accent is perfection
psychophile: Um him speaking German is pretty hot too Just sayin from personal experience
monday: i'm tired i hate my life i want to die
tuesday: i'm tired i hate my life i want to die
wednesday: i'm tired i hate my life i want to die
thursday: i'm tired i hate my life i want to die
friday: i'm tired i hate my life i want to die
saturday: lol no school
sunday: i'm tired i hate my life i want to die